Middle of the Night Thoughts About COVID-19

The images ran through my sleepless mind at 3:00 am. Perhaps I was dreaming them before I woke up. I was looking out the front window of my house as my daughter, son-in-law, granddaughters, and their dog came by on a walk. Seeing them through the window as I saw my newborn babies in the hospital nursery and a couple of my grandkids in the NICU. I love them, throw kisses, wave at them, but I can’t touch. This really happened, but in my dream, it repeats on an endless loop.

Scarcity. We have been in for two weeks, two vulnerable folks in their seventies afraid to go out shopping. I try to order food and necessities to be delivered. They are out of everything I need. The cereals that are part of our breakfast routine. Cooking oil. Toilet paper. Margarine. Almond milk. Fresh fruits and vegetables. Alcohol wipes. Dishwasher soap. Yes, we will have to venture out to a grocery store and a drug store, probably during the 6:00–8:00 am senior hours. And we are learning to make to make do with less.

Fear. When we receive whatever groceries our Instacart or Amazon shopper has been able to obtain, we worry about how to ensure they are safe. We bring in the mail wearing gloves and wash our hands once again after opening it. On a relatively warm, sunny day, we step out for a walk, maintaining social distance, and see many young people walking, riding…